As dementia took over and my mother’s memory faded, the rosary helped keep us connected.
To listen to this post, click below.
My mother, like so many elderly, had forgotten many things in her last years as she suffered from dementia. My brother and I were lucky that she still recognized us as family, though she often confused us with her siblings. Sometimes she would refer to my father as if he were still living, and it pained us to remind her that he, as well as two of her three siblings, were gone.
During the last year of her life (she passed a few months before her 91st birthday), it became more and more difficult to converse with her. She would ask the same question over and over again, sometimes immediately after we had just answered her. It was mentally exhausting for us and clearly frustrating for her. She would apologize and then ask the question again.
We tried crossword puzzles and word searches. She was an elementary school teacher before she married my dad so I thought she would enjoy doing them together with me. But she struggled and would put them aside.
One day, when I arrived to visit her, I saw that she had her rosary beads in her hand. I asked if she’d like to pray the rosary together. She lit up at the suggestion. Here was something she knew, something she could do, and something she was good at doing.
And, it was something we could do together.
As a little girl I remember seeing my mother kneeling nightly by her bed, deep in prayer, rosary in hand. In fact, when I think of things I associate with my mother, her rosary is at the top of that list. (I now have it and use it often. It makes me feel closer to her.)
After realizing that praying together was something she looked forward to doing, I put away the puzzles and word search books and instead we would pray the rosary together.
While she often could not find her words when we talked, and she struggled to communicate her thoughts and needs, she never missed a step when we prayed a rosary together. She was confident. She was in control. She, I think, was proud of the fact that she could move through all five decades without forgetting a prayer or missing any of the 53 Hail Marys.
I wished we had started doing this much earlier.
When the time came to start the morphine and she was in her last days and hours, I would weave her rosary beads between her fingers and move the beads for her. I prayed it aloud for both of us and I would like to believe she was praying silently with me. What a blessed way to be with her in her last hours.
If you have a loved one who is suffering from memory loss, but after a lifetime of praying the rosary can remember how to say it, try to pray it together. Hopefully you and your loved one will benefit in the way my mother and I did.
I am hoping to bring more knowledge about the Virgin Mary to the world, especially during these times when we need her most. Please consider sharing this post, this site, or its social media pages on Facebook and Instagram. I invite you to subscribe to this site (below) to be notified of new posts. Thank you.
searchingforthevirginmary.com 