Our Lady, our humble mother

I attended a funeral today. It was for my sister-in-law’s brother, so while I knew the deceased, he was not a blood relative of mine. I was once-removed from the grief that a family endures when losing one of its own. Still, as with most funerals, it was a solemn event for all attending, including me. It gave me the opportunity to observe, to think, and to pray from the sidelines in the beautiful church in which the service took place.

The monsignor who celebrated the Mass spoke of the resurrection, and how Jesus purchased for us the reward of eternal salvation by dying on the cross for our sins. He talked of how death opens the door to Heaven, and the unimaginable joy of seeing God. Most of us, Catholic or not, believe what we are taught about what is to come in the next life if we merit entry into the Kingdom of God. We carry it with us from childhood into adulthood where, as we age, we tend to more deeply ponder this miraculous possibility. But the concept is always in the recesses of our minds as we go about our lives.

Until we attend a funeral.

Then, imagining what we’d be feeling if we were the widow or widower consumes us. We have sympathy for the mother and/or father of the deceased as we wonder what they are thinking as the funeral Mass continues. We think about our own inevitable death. And in these moments, with incense wafting into the pews as if death is reaching for us, we pray that our turn to die or to grieve is well into the future.

The essence of our faith is the resurrection of Jesus. I keep returning, though, to the one who, through the Holy Spirit, brought Christ to us. Mary, a humble young girl who became the mother of Jesus, was the instrument that made this possible. All because she humbled herself and said yes to God’s request.

We applaud so many women today who have done great things and have changed the lives of many. We attend award events at which honorees in the worlds of business, nonprofit, sports, media and other fields are exalted. And after the celebration, the social media posts begin – some from the honorees themselves (me included) – announcing their recognition with statements like, “Proud to be chosen…” or “Honored to be awarded…”

The Blessed Virgin Mary gave birth to the savior of the world and watched him be mercilessly crucified. He rose from the dead and made it possible for us all to rise and to see each other again in Heaven after our own deaths. She is unequivocally the most important woman who ever lived!

But Mary didn’t tout her role. Mary didn’t do any self promotion. In fact, she did the opposite. There is not much information available about her life after Jesus died. While it is believed that she was instrumental in the early church, scripture does not detail her role. Scripture tells us that she was in the upper room where the early church was birthed, and that John cared for her until she passed. But she retreated from any attention due her. She is the ultimate example of humility.

Throughout the funeral service my eyes kept returning to a painting of Mary hanging on the wall behind the altar. She is shown holding a cross in her hands and appears as if she is mourning, much like the mother in the first pew who had just lost her son. Pain seems to be everywhere. But from that pain, we move ourselves closer to God, both in this life and when we pass away. There is purpose to the pain. And instead of crying out in anger, if we humble ourselves as Mary did, we may find peace.

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